Tag Archives: Surrogacy

A December to Remember


It’s December!!

We’ve been waiting for this month for a long time. Baby’s family is on their way. I know they cannot wait to meet her!!

I feel so thankful that with everything…EVERYTHING…we’ve gone through the last 9 months, I’m still hanging in there at nearly 37 weeks with a healthy baby kicking around. Losing a massive amount of blood back in early July was an absolutely terrifying experience but I know the prayers from baby’s Mom and Dad were strong enough to carry both of us through it all. And here we are! They are such loving, kind, wonderful parents and people. I can only imagine how excited they are to have made it and to be this close to holding their little angel. I’ll be praying for their safe passage here.

They’ll be accompanying me to the doctors appointment next Tuesday. Hopefully she will perform a quick ultrasound to check size, position, and fluid levels and all that so my IPs can get a quick look at their daughter. It may be busy over there in the afternoon so I can’t say for sure if that will happen or not.

Baby feels like she’s dropped a lot lower as evidenced by my ability to breathe once again and a reprieve from the heartburn. I’m going to step up my long-distance walking game once they arrive and continue to chase my toddler around. Maybe I’ll get labor to start on its own, but it wouldn’t be a shock if we end up needing some pitocin based encouragement in that department.

If you’ve been following us along our journey the past year, would you mind just keeping us in your thoughts and prayers and we come to the grand finale of a slightly different, but no less wondrous way of welcoming a child into the world? Every little bit of encouragement helps.

Habari Week 30!

We’ve reached the thirties!!

Oh wow, does it ever feel good to make it to Week 30. The end is well within sight! The summer months seemed to drag out and reaching the final leg of this journey felt like a distant dream, but look at how far we’ve come from a train ride up the Southern California coast to an IVF clinic one day back in April.

These past two weeks have seen doctors appointments galore as I had to go in and have a horrible growth on my leg examined and removed. What I thought was a wart ended up being something much worse. Note: try not self-treat skin growths with apple cider vinegar unless you know for sure they actually are warts. What else can possibly go wrong this pregnancy?? I shouldn’t tempt fate. Everything with the extraction went well though and it’s very unlikely to grow back.  I’m only 32 but in some ways it feels like I’m getting too old for this baby growing business. The baby, fortunately, is looking GREAT! Me? It’s been a bit of a rough go.

I’ve been enjoying this stage of the pregnancy though. That’s where the weird surrogacy part of this all comes in. Even though these unusual medical maladies keep happening, I am really, really happy to be 30 weeks pregnant. It’s fun getting to know this little person doing somersaults in my tummy and although she isnt my little person, I’m just so happy to help her get started. It will be so amazing to see her Mom and Dads faces when they finally get to meet her. That moment…is why I signed up for this whole gig in the first place. Ahhhh, happy hormones….

In other news, my oldest cutie lost her front tooth last night, the other one is close to falling out as well. All she really will want for Christmas this year is her two front teeth XD

Warning: gross picture of NOT a wart ahead :-/

Buna ziua week 26

We had a pretty productive week, all things considered. I went to my monthly doctors check-in on Wednesday and we got to hear baby’s heartbeat and discovered all was looking good with her growth. I’ll have to take ANOTHER glucose tolerance test sometime before our next appointment in another couple weeks. I took an early one-hour GTT at 18 weeks, typically they only give them now in the early third tri, but because there is now documented history of diabetes in my family, I have the pleasure of taking two. Even though my daughter’s Type 1 has ZERO relevance to whether or not I’m at higher risk for GD. They’re almost two completely different diseases. But, there’s protocol to follow. Okay.

I also received and signed my portion of the Pre-Birth Order which will now go in front of a judge to sign off on and make an official declaration in the eyes of the law that my intended parents names will be the only ones going on this baby’s birth certificate. Pre-birth orders are very important in surrogacies. Growing Generations gives a very good explanation as to what they are on their website. From growinggenerations.com:

“Pre and post-birth orders are items of extreme interest in gestational surrogacy. Both assign parentage to the intended parents and remove any rights or obligations from the surrogate. These birth orders can also cause a great deal of unnecessary stress for both IPs and surrogates when they’re not properly understood.

In simplest terms, a birth order is a legal document assigning parentage to a child. Depending on the state in which your surrogate lives, these documents can be started in the fourth month and are often signed by the seventh month of pregnancy in pre-birth order states. In post birth states intended parents are usually seen in court within three to five days following birth.
The most important thing to understand about the pre-birth order is that while it may be issued by the court prior to the birth, it is not effective until the birth occurs. So while having this court order signed two to three months prior to the birth may offer you some peace of mind, it is not an absolute necessity and should not cause you distress if early labor occurs before your pre-birth order is finalized. Parentage will be protected by other guardianship documents even if the pre-birth order is not in place at the time of the birth.

Some states do not offer the option of a pre-birth order. These states, post-birth states, do not allow the filing of parentage documents until after the birth of the baby to file parentage documents.

In these post-birth order states there will typically be a court hearing held after the birth and the intended parents may be required to attend. Even if a hearing is required, know that these hearings are typically a formality and agreed upon easily by the courts as all parties are in agreement over the desired parentage of the child in question.

Court hearings can just as easily be required in states offering pre-birth orders.

This reality, paired with the fact that pre-birth orders aren’t considered active until the birth of your child, makes the real life difference between pre-birth and post-birth order states insignificant.

In general, don’t let fear of working with a post-birth state scare you away from a woman who could be your ideal surrogate. If you do choose a pre-birth state, know that everything will work out with or without your pre-birth order in hand at the time of birth.

Additional questions about birth orders can always be directed to your case specialist or your legal representative at IFLG.”

I’ve crossed the threshold in pregnancy now when things are just beginning to feel uncomfortable. My center of gravity is getting way off and I’ve caught myself almost losing balance a couple times. 14 weeks to go!


Guten Tag Week 14

Go yodel it on a mountain, we’ve officially reached Trimester 2!

I also ‘officially’ announced the pregnancy to friends and family yesterday. It makes things easier when I run into folks and they don’t have to ask awkward questions like, “soooo, four kids, huh?” “Thinkin about starting up that family band, err, orchestra?” or a make a variety of other snide remarks about families who have more than two children and can clearly see another on the way. Vagina = clown car! Hardy har har!! Much hilarity and originality!!

Luckily most friends and family have responded positively to surrogacy (afaik) or at least they have the good sense to keep any nasty opinions to themselves. When it comes to opinions, there are only two I take into account: 1) my husbands and 2) my intended parents.

It was a relatively slow week here on the homefront as we get ready for a family road and camping trip in two. We’ve been enjoying some UEFA European soccer championships and you can venture a guess for which team we hope to win it all. Actually, the voting is split amongst the adults with one of us going for the Spanish, but the swing vote came from the kids who think Germany has the better uniforms. Silly kids!


Salaam Alaikom Week 12

Looks like I’m a day late on weekly updates, but some weeks everything piles on and happens all at the same time – as was the case last week. From turning in a big midterm paper, to last day of school parties, graduation ceremonies, dance recitals, and a family get together I wasn’t aware was happening until two nights before, things were pretty dang busy around here. The calm after the storm of frenzy has been a nice reprieve.

Still pregnant. Things are still trucking along fine in that arena. It’s hard to believe the second trimester starts next week!! Baby is 33% downloaded. I’m looking forward to the exhaustion going away and hopefully getting more energy back. Have our first OB appointment July 11 so that’s something to look forward to as well.

Yesterday was emotionally draining. Newtown happened halfway through my first surrogacy three years ago and now Orlando. I don’t know what else can be said, except when will we as a society say ‘enough’? Will it be when the politicians children don’t come home after a night of fun and enjoying life? I just don’t know. It’s all growing so wearisome. Be kind to one another this week. We all hope, dream, fear, and love alike. Peace. Here are some happy children.

Howdy Do? Week 11

Heeeeeeere she is, Miss Ameeeeeerica….

Kinda sorta? Our now 11 week baby girl seems to have mastered the pageant wave already. Or maybe she was just giving fistbumps to Mom and Dad for being awesome.

It was great to get a healthy report from our scan this Friday. I’m soooo glad I ended up waiting and doing this locally. The ultrasound tech I had was a sweetheart and took a bunch of photos. She was stoked on surrogate pregnancy and I wouldn’t have had quite the good experience had I gone to the LA clinic, so yayayay!

The fetal development that occurs between weeks 7 and 10 is absolutely astonishing. 3 weeks ago we were able to see a circlish blur, but now a person has definitely started to take shape. Amazing!

This is my kids and husbands last week of school before summer break – soooooo looking forward to a lot of swimming, zoo camps, and a road trip on the horizon. Baby Coco is in for a fun next couple months. I am also amazed at how much the circumstances of your life can change over the course of a full-term pregnancy, a lot can happen in 40 weeks and I look forward to reading back on all this 6 months from now seeing how far we’ve come.

I have to constantly keep reminding myself to continue to eating healthy and I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far  – check out these zucchini squash fritters with tomato and Thai basil chutney and lemony millet. Super delicious and healthy!

have a great week and if summer break is on the horizon for you too I hope it’s an enjoyable one!!




Bonjour Week 7

There are so many different realities in our world, over seven billion to be exact, and the amazing, absolutely humbling thing when you think about it, is that all those realities began the exact same way. We all came from a woman who gestated us in her womb long enough for us to make it out there on our own; for some who arrived to the party a little early, medical technological advancement helped as well to varying degrees.

Today, on this Day of the Mother, it is my hope and wish for the soon to be 5 children I’ve helped bring into this world that they all experience life to their fullest potential. When I get down on myself about a career that was a non-starter (I mean, career advancement potential wasn’t exactly white hot in 2009) or how my kids have to make do with far less than I had as a child and getting into a funk about life not being upwardly mobile for us, I have to stop and realize there is no better time to be living than right now. There isn’t. The world is at its most peaceful time in history. People of past ages had things far worse with famine and disease and war. Even pending the results of what could be a disastrous election, there still exists the hope and possibility for our children’s generation to make things better – for themselves, and for the planet. Our original mother, the one we call home, is getting sicker and warmer every year. For the sake of my children and their children after them, we have to practice mindfulness and realize the repercussions of what comes after a misguided grab for instant gratification.

This Mothers Day I’m reminded of the responsibility bestowed upon mothers to light the way and set a good example for our children. A mother is not defined by the woman who births you. She is the woman who is watched and studied by an impressionable mind for hours of the day. She teaches and guides by her words and unspoken actions. My heart overflows with gratitude for my mother, and her mother before her, who helped make me the woman I am today, and for all the women I know making the world a better place for the next generation. For those who are still on the journey to motherhood: you are not forgotten today. Your courage to soldier on through the heartbreak is beyond admirable. I hope this is the year your miracle arrives – if I have any good, sticky baby dust to give, its all yours!

Many blessings to you all and to the woman you call Mom today.