Tag Archives: Pregnancy

A December to Remember


It’s December!!

We’ve been waiting for this month for a long time. Baby’s family is on their way. I know they cannot wait to meet her!!

I feel so thankful that with everything…EVERYTHING…we’ve gone through the last 9 months, I’m still hanging in there at nearly 37 weeks with a healthy baby kicking around. Losing a massive amount of blood back in early July was an absolutely terrifying experience but I know the prayers from baby’s Mom and Dad were strong enough to carry both of us through it all. And here we are! They are such loving, kind, wonderful parents and people. I can only imagine how excited they are to have made it and to be this close to holding their little angel. I’ll be praying for their safe passage here.

They’ll be accompanying me to the doctors appointment next Tuesday. Hopefully she will perform a quick ultrasound to check size, position, and fluid levels and all that so my IPs can get a quick look at their daughter. It may be busy over there in the afternoon so I can’t say for sure if that will happen or not.

Baby feels like she’s dropped a lot lower as evidenced by my ability to breathe once again and a reprieve from the heartburn. I’m going to step up my long-distance walking game once they arrive and continue to chase my toddler around. Maybe I’ll get labor to start on its own, but it wouldn’t be a shock if we end up needing some pitocin based encouragement in that department.

If you’ve been following us along our journey the past year, would you mind just keeping us in your thoughts and prayers and we come to the grand finale of a slightly different, but no less wondrous way of welcoming a child into the world? Every little bit of encouragement helps.

hyvää päivää week 34

Checking in with 6 weeks left until our due date. The finish line is in sight. I’m running out of ways to say hello in different languages. We will be saying hello to baby girl soon enough! Speaking of finish lines, my family walked a 5K fundraising race (non-competitive) for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation yesterday and at 8 months pregnant Im quite proud of myself for going out there and doing that! I was a little nervous all that walking might send me into labor, but no such luck.

Im fortunate to have some projects going forth into the next year, like officially starting my Masters degree program! There’s a stereotype out there about surrogates that once the baby is born we go into this period of loss and mourning and while the experience varies for everyone, I don’t believe that to be the case at all for most surrogates. We have our own lives to get back to, our own families and projects to keep us busy just the same as the new parents are able to welcome their new family member(s) and adjust to that change. Life goes on…

If you have any suggestions for new ways to say hello I have yet to use I’d love to hear them! 😀

Habari Week 30!

We’ve reached the thirties!!

Oh wow, does it ever feel good to make it to Week 30. The end is well within sight! The summer months seemed to drag out and reaching the final leg of this journey felt like a distant dream, but look at how far we’ve come from a train ride up the Southern California coast to an IVF clinic one day back in April.

These past two weeks have seen doctors appointments galore as I had to go in and have a horrible growth on my leg examined and removed. What I thought was a wart ended up being something much worse. Note: try not self-treat skin growths with apple cider vinegar unless you know for sure they actually are warts. What else can possibly go wrong this pregnancy?? I shouldn’t tempt fate. Everything with the extraction went well though and it’s very unlikely to grow back.  I’m only 32 but in some ways it feels like I’m getting too old for this baby growing business. The baby, fortunately, is looking GREAT! Me? It’s been a bit of a rough go.

I’ve been enjoying this stage of the pregnancy though. That’s where the weird surrogacy part of this all comes in. Even though these unusual medical maladies keep happening, I am really, really happy to be 30 weeks pregnant. It’s fun getting to know this little person doing somersaults in my tummy and although she isnt my little person, I’m just so happy to help her get started. It will be so amazing to see her Mom and Dads faces when they finally get to meet her. That moment…is why I signed up for this whole gig in the first place. Ahhhh, happy hormones….

In other news, my oldest cutie lost her front tooth last night, the other one is close to falling out as well. All she really will want for Christmas this year is her two front teeth XD

Warning: gross picture of NOT a wart ahead :-/

Buna ziua week 26

We had a pretty productive week, all things considered. I went to my monthly doctors check-in on Wednesday and we got to hear baby’s heartbeat and discovered all was looking good with her growth. I’ll have to take ANOTHER glucose tolerance test sometime before our next appointment in another couple weeks. I took an early one-hour GTT at 18 weeks, typically they only give them now in the early third tri, but because there is now documented history of diabetes in my family, I have the pleasure of taking two. Even though my daughter’s Type 1 has ZERO relevance to whether or not I’m at higher risk for GD. They’re almost two completely different diseases. But, there’s protocol to follow. Okay.

I also received and signed my portion of the Pre-Birth Order which will now go in front of a judge to sign off on and make an official declaration in the eyes of the law that my intended parents names will be the only ones going on this baby’s birth certificate. Pre-birth orders are very important in surrogacies. Growing Generations gives a very good explanation as to what they are on their website. From growinggenerations.com:

“Pre and post-birth orders are items of extreme interest in gestational surrogacy. Both assign parentage to the intended parents and remove any rights or obligations from the surrogate. These birth orders can also cause a great deal of unnecessary stress for both IPs and surrogates when they’re not properly understood.

In simplest terms, a birth order is a legal document assigning parentage to a child. Depending on the state in which your surrogate lives, these documents can be started in the fourth month and are often signed by the seventh month of pregnancy in pre-birth order states. In post birth states intended parents are usually seen in court within three to five days following birth.
The most important thing to understand about the pre-birth order is that while it may be issued by the court prior to the birth, it is not effective until the birth occurs. So while having this court order signed two to three months prior to the birth may offer you some peace of mind, it is not an absolute necessity and should not cause you distress if early labor occurs before your pre-birth order is finalized. Parentage will be protected by other guardianship documents even if the pre-birth order is not in place at the time of the birth.

Some states do not offer the option of a pre-birth order. These states, post-birth states, do not allow the filing of parentage documents until after the birth of the baby to file parentage documents.

In these post-birth order states there will typically be a court hearing held after the birth and the intended parents may be required to attend. Even if a hearing is required, know that these hearings are typically a formality and agreed upon easily by the courts as all parties are in agreement over the desired parentage of the child in question.

Court hearings can just as easily be required in states offering pre-birth orders.

This reality, paired with the fact that pre-birth orders aren’t considered active until the birth of your child, makes the real life difference between pre-birth and post-birth order states insignificant.

In general, don’t let fear of working with a post-birth state scare you away from a woman who could be your ideal surrogate. If you do choose a pre-birth state, know that everything will work out with or without your pre-birth order in hand at the time of birth.

Additional questions about birth orders can always be directed to your case specialist or your legal representative at IFLG.”

I’ve crossed the threshold in pregnancy now when things are just beginning to feel uncomfortable. My center of gravity is getting way off and I’ve caught myself almost losing balance a couple times. 14 weeks to go!


Namaste Week 25

Hello heartburn my old friend,

You’ve come to torture me again…

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed out lately, which may have heralded the return of a not-so favorite pregnancy ailment, and this past Thursday decided enough was enough and I was overdue for a little me time. You could say I’ve never been good at “girling”. My makeup attempts are comical, usually giving a look every time that skirts the line between drag-queen-had-a-rough-night and Ursula the sea witch. I gave up on getting manicures and pedicures because having some sweet Vietnamese woman wash my dirty callused feet brings out the white “I promise I’m not the oppressor” guilt each time. When I needed to take a bit of the edge off from this week, I turned to some amazing skin care products my IM brought me as a very thoughtful gift and had an at-home spa night.

IM has amazing taste in beauty products! I would buy everything she suggested if she ever curated a list of must-have items. I felt soooo much better after an evening of self-care. I also took a kid-free morning to myself today and met up with a good friend for a healthy, invigorating breakfast and a peaceful walk just to watch the waves roll in at the beach. The light chill in the air and the smell of the saltwater helped me remember to slow down and take a couple deep breaths and remember that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes you need to do that for yourself every once in a while. On our walk, we passed by a lady who said on her way by, “you look absolutely beautiful pregnant!” What a kind compliment to pay a stranger. Hopefully this glowing, positive energy I’m now feeling can carry into the next week and HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER – you’ve arrived quickly!


Zdravo Week 18

Maybe I had this coming. Maybe I approached this second surrogacy overconfident and too carelessly, assuming it would go as smoothly as all the others. We aren’t even to the halfway mark and this is proving to be the most stressful one yet. 😧

Thursday I noticed my feet were starting to itch, like perhaps some bug had taken a bite while we were at the zoo or something. As the day progressed, the itching got much worse and that night I’d developed a blotchy, lacy rash that was starting to spread up my ankles. The palm of my left hand and fingers were also starting to get angry. Whyyyyy is this something that has to happen now? Googling symptoms of foot rash – it’s so hard to self-diagnose any rash over the internet because it could be a cause or effect of so many different things- I came across the condition of ICP which can be brought on in pregnancy. ICP is characterized by very itchy feet and palms as a result of liver dysfunction. The bile your liver normally produces doesn’t filter through your system properly and builds up in the extremities of your limbs. This can come on in pregnancy as a result of the hormonal changes that take place, and resolves itself after delivery, so similar to gestational diabetes, you’re ‘cured’ once the baby is born. Something reassuring and working against the case of me developing a case of ICP was the fact that it was only the tops and sides of my feet that were rashy and itchy (ICP usually affects the soles) and only my left palm, not my right, was itchy. ICP would affect both hands, not one.


NOT a sunburn

Playing the better safe than sorry card, I called into my doctor on Friday and described my symptoms and they said they did want me to do a blood draw to check the bile salt levels and come in to the office for a check. I’ve gotten to see this baby like once every other week now! And of course, there she was, happy as a little geoduck, heartbeat in the 150s. No news has been good news and I haven’t heard back the result from the lab, so I’m pretty confident that it will come back negative.

Today is Sunday and the rash has practically disappeared leaving me only with some minor residual itching. The conclusion I’ve come to, now that the worst case scenario has been ruled out, is that I experienced an allergic reaction to some ingredient in a crap lotion I used on Wednesday night. My feet were dry so I put some of this Eucerin lotion on them, clearly with my left hand, annnnnd yeah. Bad lotion is going in the trash.


Of course, just when I feel like I can relax, I woke up to more spotting this morning.


Im not quite as concerned this time around compared to a couple weeks ago as the blood is very brownish and light and it doesn’t appear as if I’m actively bleeding. Old blood is okay blood. Given that I saw baby on Friday doing well and my cervix is very much closed, I don’t think there’s a need to go in to be seen anywhere unless things get worse. 4 weeks ago was like I was having a heavy period and this is nowhere close to that. But still, it would be nice to have a reason why my body keeps doing this. I suppose there could be a cyclical/hormonal imbalance due to the artificial nature of this pregnancy and maybe if there’s bleeding again in 3-4 weeks we could attribute this to the hormones in my body acting like they’re still on a regular menstrual cycle. Does that even happen?? Our next appointment is not for another 3 weeks but I’ll definitely inform them about this when I next go in.

Looking forward to an uncomplicated, healthy new week.


Merhaba Week 17

Can you feel me now?

Baby kicks!

Yes, yes I finally can. Such a reassuring feeling. They’re hard to distinguish at first, like tiny bubbles popping up against a wall, but they’ll become stronger as time goes on. What a fun milestone to share with my IM!

This week it feels like the exhaustion has returned. Boo! I’ve been tired again lately and should try harder on pushing through. Naps are such a blessing but hard to squeeze in with 3 little kids. We took an outing to the zoo this week and have gone swimming every day. As baby grows, I’m appreciating the pool more and more. Too bad we’re going against the seasons here. Taking a dip in an unheated pool mid-December may be an act  of desperation when we get that far.

Missing coffee so hard right now.

It’s allllll worth it in the end.