Category Archives: Uncategorized

Happy Transfer-versary!

Pretty hard to believe a year has gone by since the embryo transfer and the agony of the 2 week wait. I’ve been receiving updates on Little Miss in the form of pics and videos and I do declare, she is the cutest baby to ever baby it up!!! I mean, my kids were pretty cute babies, but lucky Mom and Dad have an absolute beauty. Wish I could claim some credit for that but hey, I was just the oven!

I’m almost done with my first full semester of Grad School. One down, four to go. It’s been busy, hence why I don’t come on here anymore, but I’m absolutely loving it and am so happy to have found a future career that suits me. I envy those who have what they want to do all figured out by the time they graduate high school. This was not the case for me AT ALL and although it took a couple moves and five babies later I finally got on the right course, I’ve enjoyed the little detours along the way.

I will probably end up deleting this blog over the summer since my surrogacy journey is done. Maybe I’ll convert it to a therapy blog, haha, not so sure that would be nearly as interesting. Will try to archive all our memories from here before I go. It was an incredible year and I’m looking forward to visiting both my surro-babies next year!!!


A Happy Birthday

This entry has been a long time overdue. I wasn’t overdue though! We welcomed a beautiful, healthy baby girl on December 18th at 12:08 in the afternoon. She was placed in the arms of her mother and father with love and joy and gratitude for the amazing miracle of her life.

It was a beautiful, easy, comforting birth and I couldn’t have asked for things to have gone any differently. For the first time I went into the hospital in active labor all on my own without any pitocin or needing to induce things along. Contractions woke me up around 3 in the morning and we made the call to head in around 5:30. My intended parents arrived at 7:30-8 and she made her appearance just after noon! We spent the holidays together with some delightful company and made some amazing memories.

Surrogacy has been a wonderful experience for me not just once, but I’ve gotten lucky two times now! I’ve been feeling really good in the postpartum period and pumped milk for her while she was in town and am now going to donate the remainder to a local baby in need. It’s the gift that just keeps on giving!

It is so tempting to say yes, I would do this again and get pregnant in a heartbeat and help give someone the chance at their dream. I have loved the journey every step of the way but it’s time to take a break. I can’t say what the future holds and if a friend or relative were to approach me privately it’s something I would for sure consider. I’m taking the next couple years and focusing on me. On growing a career I am very excited about and finally feeling like I’ve found my calling in life. On helping my daughter with her diabetes care. And gaining a foothold of independence in case the paths my husband and I are on become too divergent to reconcile.

From start to finish this journey has been amazing. It’s hard to put into words how grateful I am that two kind and loving parents put their fullest trust in me to take care of the most precious cargo they’ll ever have. Being able to be there and a part of that moment when they finally met the beautiful little angel girl of their dreams made all the shots, the pains, the wacky hormones all the worthwhile.


A December to Remember

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It’s December!!

We’ve been waiting for this month for a long time. Baby’s family is on their way. I know they cannot wait to meet her!!

I feel so thankful that with everything…EVERYTHING…we’ve gone through the last 9 months, I’m still hanging in there at nearly 37 weeks with a healthy baby kicking around. Losing a massive amount of blood back in early July was an absolutely terrifying experience but I know the prayers from baby’s Mom and Dad were strong enough to carry both of us through it all. And here we are! They are such loving, kind, wonderful parents and people. I can only imagine how excited they are to have made it and to be this close to holding their little angel. I’ll be praying for their safe passage here.

They’ll be accompanying me to the doctors appointment next Tuesday. Hopefully she will perform a quick ultrasound to check size, position, and fluid levels and all that so my IPs can get a quick look at their daughter. It may be busy over there in the afternoon so I can’t say for sure if that will happen or not.

Baby feels like she’s dropped a lot lower as evidenced by my ability to breathe once again and a reprieve from the heartburn. I’m going to step up my long-distance walking game once they arrive and continue to chase my toddler around. Maybe I’ll get labor to start on its own, but it wouldn’t be a shock if we end up needing some pitocin based encouragement in that department.

If you’ve been following us along our journey the past year, would you mind just keeping us in your thoughts and prayers and we come to the grand finale of a slightly different, but no less wondrous way of welcoming a child into the world? Every little bit of encouragement helps.


Konnichiwa Week 19!

Its difficult to hold back when your husband wants to go out for sushi for his birthday dinner, and you’re pregnant and can’t exactly eat…sushi. Well, not the good extra-raw kind anyway. But…I made do with some delicious Japanese food on Saturday night and still had an enjoyable night out to celebrate his 33rd birthday.

As each day passes, we get closer to the halfway mark! Wow, where has the time gone? Our big anatomy scan is scheduled for Monday the 15th, that will technically be the 21st week but since we already know baby’s gender there isn’t quite the feeling of anticipation to have the appointment get here as quickly as possible.

Besides, it will be very worth the wait because I have some wonderful news to share…my IM and baby’s big brother are coming out to visit for the anatomy scan!!! What a treat for them to see this sweet lady on the big screen in person. I’m so happy and excited to get to see them!! It will be a brief visit but such a good one. There will be some giant hugs involved. Can’t wait!


Zdravo Week 18

Maybe I had this coming. Maybe I approached this second surrogacy overconfident and too carelessly, assuming it would go as smoothly as all the others. We aren’t even to the halfway mark and this is proving to be the most stressful one yet. 😧

Thursday I noticed my feet were starting to itch, like perhaps some bug had taken a bite while we were at the zoo or something. As the day progressed, the itching got much worse and that night I’d developed a blotchy, lacy rash that was starting to spread up my ankles. The palm of my left hand and fingers were also starting to get angry. Whyyyyy is this something that has to happen now? Googling symptoms of foot rash – it’s so hard to self-diagnose any rash over the internet because it could be a cause or effect of so many different things- I came across the condition of ICP which can be brought on in pregnancy. ICP is characterized by very itchy feet and palms as a result of liver dysfunction. The bile your liver normally produces doesn’t filter through your system properly and builds up in the extremities of your limbs. This can come on in pregnancy as a result of the hormonal changes that take place, and resolves itself after delivery, so similar to gestational diabetes, you’re ‘cured’ once the baby is born. Something reassuring and working against the case of me developing a case of ICP was the fact that it was only the tops and sides of my feet that were rashy and itchy (ICP usually affects the soles) and only my left palm, not my right, was itchy. ICP would affect both hands, not one.

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NOT a sunburn

Playing the better safe than sorry card, I called into my doctor on Friday and described my symptoms and they said they did want me to do a blood draw to check the bile salt levels and come in to the office for a check. I’ve gotten to see this baby like once every other week now! And of course, there she was, happy as a little geoduck, heartbeat in the 150s. No news has been good news and I haven’t heard back the result from the lab, so I’m pretty confident that it will come back negative.

Today is Sunday and the rash has practically disappeared leaving me only with some minor residual itching. The conclusion I’ve come to, now that the worst case scenario has been ruled out, is that I experienced an allergic reaction to some ingredient in a crap lotion I used on Wednesday night. My feet were dry so I put some of this Eucerin lotion on them, clearly with my left hand, annnnnd yeah. Bad lotion is going in the trash.

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Of course, just when I feel like I can relax, I woke up to more spotting this morning.

Nooooooo!!!

Im not quite as concerned this time around compared to a couple weeks ago as the blood is very brownish and light and it doesn’t appear as if I’m actively bleeding. Old blood is okay blood. Given that I saw baby on Friday doing well and my cervix is very much closed, I don’t think there’s a need to go in to be seen anywhere unless things get worse. 4 weeks ago was like I was having a heavy period and this is nowhere close to that. But still, it would be nice to have a reason why my body keeps doing this. I suppose there could be a cyclical/hormonal imbalance due to the artificial nature of this pregnancy and maybe if there’s bleeding again in 3-4 weeks we could attribute this to the hormones in my body acting like they’re still on a regular menstrual cycle. Does that even happen?? Our next appointment is not for another 3 weeks but I’ll definitely inform them about this when I next go in.

Looking forward to an uncomplicated, healthy new week.

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Kia Ora Week 16

Getting a bit behind on our updates. To be honest I’ve been completely on edge since the bleeding incident 2 weeks ago, I haven’t had much time to relax; or get a chance to celebrate the A I earned in my Psych class last week. Woot, I guess?!

Well, here we are at 16 weeks. I made it to our OB appointment on Monday and asked the doctor her opinion why I might have bled out like that with baby still chill in there. She wasn’t sure either and unfortunately isn’t a future teller and can’t say whether it is likely to happen again. So, we will keep our fingers crossed and hope for NO MORE SCARY BLEEDS!!

I’m trying to let my anxiety ease up a bit and it helped after checking  out the baby on Monday. The OB office has one of those hi-def 3D rendering ultrasound that makes baby look like someone was scanning the surface of Mars and discovered an alien life form. I think my intended parents can start to relax a bit more as well. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be far away when things like this happen! We saw a good omen on our drive home from the appointment following behind this truck on the highway with ‘you are loved! <3’ tagged in white letters on the back. D’awww!! Baby Girl is SO loved and I know Mom and Dad can’t wait to hold and kiss her and tell her exactly that.

Happy that things are back to normal, for the most part, this week. And yes, this IS a new bathroom selfie destination! Places to go…washrooms to utilize. The life of a surrogate is so very glamorous.

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Why Surrogacy? A Surrogate Answers

Four years ago during my pregnancy with B, I expected to be asked this question from friends, family, and acquaintances far more often than it was actually asked. Why choose to be a surrogate? Why dedicate over 9 months of your time and put your body through the stress of months of hormone injections and a full term pregnancy just to help another couple start a family?

In fact, the question I DID get asked the most often, “was it hard for you to give up the baby?” (perhaps another blog topic for another time) came as a bigger surprise than the W-H-Y? I suppose primarily because this was never anything I questioned myself. Little B was never mine to give up in anyway so much as I was handing him back after a season of safekeeping. And I have the same attitude now carrying his sibling.

I wonder sometimes if my emotional attachment functioning works differently from other women. While I enjoyed the times I was pregnant with my own kids, I quite honestly prefer the bonding with them when they’ve been outside my womb over the time spent in. Fetal development is just one part of our lives none of us remember. I eagerly counted the days until my due dates, imagining what they would look like, the sound of their cries, if they would be good sleepers…the exact same things my intended parents are imagining. Sure, pregnancy can be viewed as this ~sacred~ rite of femininity, a tribute to fertility and goddesses of bounty. For me, it always been more of a means to an end.

I often come across in articles on surrogacy, which for the most part I’ve quit reading because they try too hard to be scandalous or sensational, that women who become surrogates say they do so because they have easy pregnancies. I can completely relate to this. We don’t say this as a point of bragging or smuggitude – believe me, I get how shitty pregnancy can be and why some people swear it off “never again!” after having a baby, especially when there are complications. For me, and for these other women who say pregnancy comes easy for them, it’s just the way it is. All 4 of my pregnancies have been downright boring (but in a good way!!). I never experienced morning sickness. No bleeding. I’ve never had any gestational diabetes nor preeclampsia. My babies were all born full-term at 39+6, 41, 39+1, and 40+3. Really the most unusual thing to happen was that my oldest was delivered C-Section because she was complete breech – the others have been subsequent VBACs. Knowing her personality now, the breech thing makes a lot of sense. Headstrong, that one….likes doing things her own way (kind of like her mom). I am 4 for 4 in basically floating through easy pregnancies like a rare breed of sparkly unicorn butterfly woman – and that’s okay. I like the way my body feels pregnant. My attitude and emotional state feels more balanced in this time. So in a way, sharing this sparkly uterine gift I have to help another woman unable to carry a pregnancy of her own feels very fulfilling.

I dont believe families suffering infertility should be denied the chance to become parents, especially when they desire so deeply and have the means to provide a child with a loving home, simply because some part(s) doesn’t work right. Being a good parent has nothing to do with whether or not you’re “meant” to have children because of your biology. For every one sensational surrogacy story that makes it to the media slog cycle, there are hundreds more abused and neglected children whose irresponsible, fertile, parents brought them into this world only to endure a brief existence of suffering. How is that fair? Adoption can be a wonderful calling. I have adopted family members and friends who have led amazing and loving lives thanks to adoption. I believe it is just ONE option, however, in the great process of family building and that people who call on those who seek assisted reproductive technologies to “just adopt” maybe take a look at adopting or fostering a child or two themselves. People experiencing infertility shouldn’t feel as if they have to default to adoption if that isn’t the path they choose to follow.

Oh boy, this is turning into a long thing…

Another reason why I quit reading surrogate stories in the news is because there is always a question raised on whether surrogates are being exploited due to the potential socioeconomic and wealth difference between the surrogate and the intended parents. As a real-life, genuine surrogate person receiving a contracted amount of compensation let me tell you in no way am I exploited. My compensation is distributed monthly throughout the duration of the pregnancy as opposed to one lump sum at the end, so in absolutely no terms is anyone buying or paying for a baby so much as I’m paid for a service provided. Does the comp money help my family? Absolutely. I feel we are being helped just as I am helping my intended parents grow their family. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship and this is not something I signed up for “just for the money”. My husband is a public school teacher and I am a returning graduate student stay at home mom of 3. You can deduce our financial situation from those facts – perhaps this speaks more on how poorly we pay educators in this country and what esteem we hold them in compared to most other first world nations where teaching is a revered and respected profession, but that’s a whole nother topic for a whole nother day… The financial component is not and should not be the sole motivating factor of why a woman chooses surrogacy. It isn’t for me and it isn’t for most women. The problems of exploitation lie in the unregulated, legally ambiguous zones of controversy in countries like India, Thailand, and parts of Eastern Europe where women can and have been taken advantage of. I am thankful that California, the state I live in, has legal protections in place to prevent against such things and that every step along the way of my surrogate experience has involved FULL and INFORMED legal consent. I support stronger and safer regulation in this industry so there IS a standard to how surrogacy arrangements should be entered with consent of all parties and the best interests of the child always of the utmost importance. When people feign concern that wholy informed and consenting women such as me are being taken advantage of, I want to shout, “do you not trust us with decisions over our own bodies?!” but then we have that problem of choice in this country, now don’t we?

To wrap this up, I made the choice to be a surrogate because I saw firsthand how it helped a friend of mine complete her family when she had her twin daughters via a surrogate. It was something I firmly believed I was capable of helping out another family with, thanks to my talented baby-growin’ ute, in a sense of paying it forward and doing my part to help make the world a little more fair. To know that the child I carried for 9 months would thrive with a set of amazing parents who tell him how very loved and wanted he is every day. I chose to make this journey again because I developed a relationship with a family so kind and open and loving as my own that helping them grow by another one is my honor and privilege. So if you ever ask “why?” well now you know.