Monthly Archives: September 2016

Buna ziua week 26

We had a pretty productive week, all things considered. I went to my monthly doctors check-in on Wednesday and we got to hear baby’s heartbeat and discovered all was looking good with her growth. I’ll have to take ANOTHER glucose tolerance test sometime before our next appointment in another couple weeks. I took an early one-hour GTT at 18 weeks, typically they only give them now in the early third tri, but because there is now documented history of diabetes in my family, I have the pleasure of taking two. Even though my daughter’s Type 1 has ZERO relevance to whether or not I’m at higher risk for GD. They’re almost two completely different diseases. But, there’s protocol to follow. Okay.

I also received and signed my portion of the Pre-Birth Order which will now go in front of a judge to sign off on and make an official declaration in the eyes of the law that my intended parents names will be the only ones going on this baby’s birth certificate. Pre-birth orders are very important in surrogacies. Growing Generations gives a very good explanation as to what they are on their website. From growinggenerations.com:

“Pre and post-birth orders are items of extreme interest in gestational surrogacy. Both assign parentage to the intended parents and remove any rights or obligations from the surrogate. These birth orders can also cause a great deal of unnecessary stress for both IPs and surrogates when they’re not properly understood.

In simplest terms, a birth order is a legal document assigning parentage to a child. Depending on the state in which your surrogate lives, these documents can be started in the fourth month and are often signed by the seventh month of pregnancy in pre-birth order states. In post birth states intended parents are usually seen in court within three to five days following birth.
The most important thing to understand about the pre-birth order is that while it may be issued by the court prior to the birth, it is not effective until the birth occurs. So while having this court order signed two to three months prior to the birth may offer you some peace of mind, it is not an absolute necessity and should not cause you distress if early labor occurs before your pre-birth order is finalized. Parentage will be protected by other guardianship documents even if the pre-birth order is not in place at the time of the birth.

Some states do not offer the option of a pre-birth order. These states, post-birth states, do not allow the filing of parentage documents until after the birth of the baby to file parentage documents.

In these post-birth order states there will typically be a court hearing held after the birth and the intended parents may be required to attend. Even if a hearing is required, know that these hearings are typically a formality and agreed upon easily by the courts as all parties are in agreement over the desired parentage of the child in question.

Court hearings can just as easily be required in states offering pre-birth orders.

This reality, paired with the fact that pre-birth orders aren’t considered active until the birth of your child, makes the real life difference between pre-birth and post-birth order states insignificant.

In general, don’t let fear of working with a post-birth state scare you away from a woman who could be your ideal surrogate. If you do choose a pre-birth state, know that everything will work out with or without your pre-birth order in hand at the time of birth.

Additional questions about birth orders can always be directed to your case specialist or your legal representative at IFLG.”

I’ve crossed the threshold in pregnancy now when things are just beginning to feel uncomfortable. My center of gravity is getting way off and I’ve caught myself almost losing balance a couple times. 14 weeks to go!

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Namaste Week 25

Hello heartburn my old friend,

You’ve come to torture me again…

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed out lately, which may have heralded the return of a not-so favorite pregnancy ailment, and this past Thursday decided enough was enough and I was overdue for a little me time. You could say I’ve never been good at “girling”. My makeup attempts are comical, usually giving a look every time that skirts the line between drag-queen-had-a-rough-night and Ursula the sea witch. I gave up on getting manicures and pedicures because having some sweet Vietnamese woman wash my dirty callused feet brings out the white “I promise I’m not the oppressor” guilt each time. When I needed to take a bit of the edge off from this week, I turned to some amazing skin care products my IM brought me as a very thoughtful gift and had an at-home spa night.

IM has amazing taste in beauty products! I would buy everything she suggested if she ever curated a list of must-have items. I felt soooo much better after an evening of self-care. I also took a kid-free morning to myself today and met up with a good friend for a healthy, invigorating breakfast and a peaceful walk just to watch the waves roll in at the beach. The light chill in the air and the smell of the saltwater helped me remember to slow down and take a couple deep breaths and remember that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes you need to do that for yourself every once in a while. On our walk, we passed by a lady who said on her way by, “you look absolutely beautiful pregnant!” What a kind compliment to pay a stranger. Hopefully this glowing, positive energy I’m now feeling can carry into the next week and HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER – you’ve arrived quickly!

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Privyet Weeks 23&24

Things have fallen into this routine around here of school, homework, soccer, sleep, repeat, so I won’t be updating as often unless something out of the ordinary happens, but really, this is going to be our lives for the next 16 weeks.

Happy to be 24 weeks today. I think many pregnant women breathe a sigh of relief making it to the magic week number more commonly referred to as viability. Every detail about my health is still worth talking with the doctor about, but know what? I did it! I made it so far as to give baby a chance to make it on her own and get her into Mom and Dads arms. Every week from here on out, her chances of surviving and obtaining healthy baby status go up. We also have our PBO–that’s pre-birth order–papers getting drawn up and ready to go to the judge to sign. If for any reason I have to go in and have an emergency delivery, I’m sure the lawyers will have to bust their butts to get a rush on that–but since all is going smoothly and there have been no more scary bleeds or other problems, I expect to be signing my portion of the PBO before the end of the month.

It’s been exciting to feel baby’s kicks get A LOT stronger. She’s feisty! And very active. Curious to know how her Mom and Dad will feel about that one!

Ive been going through some personal/marriage challenges, but, I’m optimistic on those fronts and hope things will resolve in a way so that our family can move forward in a positive direction. Things stand at a crossroads right now and I’m not sure of the right direction. Been saying a lot of prayers and keeping the faith that it will all work out. In other news, my class starts on Monday and I’m excited about it.

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