Blue Apron 32 — Pizza Burgers w Garlic Parmesan Zucchini “Fries”


“America…Fuck Yeah!”

Could there be a dinner more America than something called Pizza Burgers?

Perhaps… if you used 5 lbs of ground beef, topped it with fries and turned it into some type of eating competition. Let’s just stick with Blue Apron’s recipe for now and I’ll save myself the imagined horrific heartburn.

I was dubious about how these were going to turn out. Pizza burgers seem like one of those marketing ploys where restaurants or companies unsuccessfully try mashing up two things that seem like they’d work well together because they are just so good as stand-alones. The result is usually a big let-down. Like Strawberry Beer. ChocoTacos – sorry, I maintain these are disgusting HFCS abominations.

Pizza Burgers, not to be confused with Burger Pizza (totally different), are made with ground beef, sesame buns, tomato sauce with Italian seasonings and are topped with provolone and basil. The whole dinner was simple, easy to prepare, and highly child-friendly. There would be no dinner battles with this one tonight. They even tried the zucchini, but turned it down after a couple bites. That’s okay, though. The burgers were quite large so no one would be going hungry.

Our box contained three large zucchinis for the “fries” which I needed two pans to cook all of them on. Not a huge deal. I even America’ed-up this recipe by going in guns blazin’ without properly reading the directions. In preparing the sauce, the recipe calls for half the spice blend. Guess who went ahead and dumped the entire contents in? The other half of the spice was meant for seasoning the beef. To fix my errors, I just took a spoonful of the spiced sauce and worked it into the ground beef. My patties were just going to be extra juicy, I guess.

too much zucchini for one pan to contain

too much zucchini for one pan to contain


The burgers did the trick to quickly satiate a hungry crowd. I’d probably go back and grill the meat because 1. why not and 2. America. Happy Summer and Outdoor Eating Season.


About Helen

Person of interest. Surrogate extraordinaire. Sorry about the mess. View all posts by Helen

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