Making Connections

Time for a surrogacy update?

I’ve been keeping in touch with the agency and we’re going to start hammering out the details of our contract in June. June!!! That’s coming up! I’ll go into more specifics about the very serious and legally binding surrogacy contract in another entry, perhaps. All needs to be right with the law before both parties partake in this endeavor. That means every single hypothetical scenario, every “what if?”, each “what could go wrong?”, needs to be addressed and laid out in a multi-page document submitted to the court. For us, since this is our second go-round and we’re working with an agency quite experienced in these matters, well – it makes me less concerned about the contract signing portion of the journey. In fact, I don’t expect our contract to be all that drastically different from the one we signed three years ago.

No…what I want to talk about is how much my brother sucks.

JK JK!! I love my little bro (who is not so little anymore at age 27)! But I’m jealous of him. He got to hang out with surro-babe numero uno this week! In fact, he’s probably seen Lil’ Chip at least four times since he was born, whereas the last time I saw him, he was about two weeks old! How is this fair?!?!

One of the most amazing things to happen since my first surrogacy is that my own family has made very personal, life-long connections with another family (my IPs). Does everything happen for a reason? I can’t say for sure, but we were certainly brought closer together, in ways that run deeper than a legal contract, through this journey. It helps to understand that my IPs and I do not live near each other. They are from the East Coast and I’m on the West. We were matched through this agency, one I found out about through a friend, and went into pregnancy #1 relative strangers. When you are carrying someone’s child for them, you might grow closer. This is not the case for every surrogate pregnancy out there, however. Some relationships are strictly business and that’s fine. Some surrogates might be friends or family to their IPs and have a long history. As a surrogate, you are entitled to carry on whatever relationship with your IPs is most comfortable for you!

Surrogacy is a delicate balance of attachment. For 9+ months, I was the one updating my IPs with news and events of their son’s life. Once he was born, the balance shifted. Now I receive the news from them, but realize this is not the case for every surrogate arrangement. It was both of our choices to continue a relationship, we even spelled this out in the contract. I suppose it’s a boon that I consider my IPs my friends now.

So, you may be wondering how my brother plays into all this. Two years ago, brother of mine headed out their way and lived and worked in the same city for almost a year. He met a lovely young woman whom he now keeps a long distance relationship alive with, and they take turns flying out to visit one another until she graduates University. After that, I hope they’re finally going to move to be closer, but it’s none of my business, so I’m keeping my lips sealed! So while he is back East visiting her, he meets up with the IPs and the little guy. Jealous! But, I know as things get rolling on Surrogacy Two, we will all be seeing each other very soon! I’m glad surrogacy has brought our two families together in a very unique way. More love, making friends and connections has always been my mantra.

About Helen

Person of interest. Surrogate extraordinaire. Sorry about the mess. View all posts by Helen

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