Cooking for Stupids

I’m going to start blogging about food.  It will contain profanity, because I head-curse up a storm while cooking.  Food and surrogacy.  What a combo.  This is practically all I have going on in my life right now, anyway; looking ahead for the second round of surrogacy later in the year, and keeping my 3 children alive by feeding them.  Important stuff.

As a gift to my husband for Valentine’s Day, I signed us up for a subscription to meal prep site Blue Apron.  Why would I give a food-by-mail subscription as a gift, you ask?  Well, during the weeks, after my husband gets off work, he has a very predictable routine of going to the store on his way home and then calling/texting me, asking what I want him to pick up for dinner.  Usually he’s already in the store parking lot and I have to come up with an answer on the spot. I’m vicariously impulse shopping.  Like clockwork, most days between 3:30 and 4, I can expect to receive a text like this one:


And here is where I reveal information about myself…


My husband moved out last September and we were living apart for a couple months.  No drama to disclose, we still love each other very much and are back together as of this January, but I was alone with 2 children – 3 once the baby arrived in October, but baby doesn’t count as far as meals go since I’M his primary food source.  I got very much stuck in a terrible meal rut.  Comfort food became too comfortable.  These are the questions I ask myself when pondering whether or not to make something: Does it require 3 ingredients or fewer, that can all be mixed together at the same time – bonus points if it comes in a box!?  Is it noodle and cheese heavy?  Can I pour milk over it in a bowl?  GOOD!  No issues here.  Anything else, and I probably will colossally fuck it up.

So, for me, receiving ‘what’s for dinner?’ and ‘at the store! need list!’ messages on the daily equates to minor stress.  I’m not creative enough to come up with recipes on the spot!  Too much pressure!  Lucky for me I married a man MUCH more talented in the kitchen than I, who doesn’t mind doing the cooking for our family.  He just wants to know what I want and what I think our children will enjoy eating.  That requires planning and forethought which frankly, I don’t have the time to write out with a 5, 3, and 4 month old.

Blue Apron tempted me with a sign-up promo social media banner ad.  Well done, targeted marketing.  I’m not a subscription junkie, but I’ll try anything once, and after checking out their website and finding out how the program works, I realized… here is the answer to our What’s For Dinner? dilemma!  So, go ahead Blue Apron, take my money and deliver my family tasty food and peace of mind!

Blue Apron offers 2- and 4-person meal plans and you can set your preferences for the number of deliveries you’d like to receive.  I signed up for the 4-person, 4-meal plan, so in effect I am getting 2 deliveries each week containing 2 meals per box.  We clearly need the jumbo plan due to my aforementioned issues in the kitchen.  Everything is well laid out on their website,  It is nice, shiny, stream-lined cooking for stupids (like me).  I can see how it also appeals to more skilled folks, curious to try new ingredients and recipes, and also to the short on time contingency, i.e. busy families and professionals.

Today I received my first box via FedEx guy, two weeks after forking over my credit card number (forking over, get it? hah!).  I’m excited to unpack, get to cooking, and write a review, which I will do in the next post.  So stay tuned and we can find out what’s for dinner!

About Helen

Person of interest. Surrogate extraordinaire. Sorry about the mess. View all posts by Helen

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